Thursday, December 3, 2009

OT: I Should Have Hit on Tiger's Wife When I Had The Chance

I think it was 2002, and I was at a PGA Tour golf tournament in San Francisco. My favorite athlete, Tiger Woods, was roaming the golf course and I was doing everything I could to get as close as possible and get a glimpse at the greatness. Fortunately for me, the crowd wasn't too big that day, and I was able to follow Tiger for all 18 holes, without any obstruction.

Tiger was making his way through the course, and was about to hit an approach shot on a long par 5. Nobody was around me, I was standing all by myself. Tiger, was way out in the middle of the fairway, probably 100 yards away from me. Suddenly, I turn to my left, and I see this blond woman walking straight toward me. I mean, STRAIGHT toward me. Looking right at me. She was very moderately dressed, a blue hooded sweater, black stretch pants, and big sunglasses hiding her eyes.

I can probably count on one hand how many times in my life, that something inside told me "I have to say something to this woman." Living in California, I see beautiful women everyday, but very, very, rarely does a little voice inside my head tells me to make a move. So here I am, standing, totally oblivious to the golf tournament at this point, and this gorgeous woman has all my attention. Low and behold, this woman comes and STANDS RIGHT NEXT TO ME. We are almost touching shoulders we are so close. Like I mentioned before, there wasn't any one else around. It wasn't like she squeezed in between a few people to get a look at Tiger, she walked up, with nobody else around, and STOOD RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Whoo Hoo!

So right about at that point, my heart starts to pick up a little bit. I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING! So I start to steal some glances at her. And at the same time, I am trying to come up with something smooth to say. On about the second glance, I get this funny feeling. Do I already know her?  She kind of looks familar. She looks about my age. Maybe from school? From a past job? While all this is running through my head, a person approaches who I do recognize. Tiger Woods mother comes walking up and stands next to, what I think, will be my future wife. Suddenly, like a flash, I snap out of my haze, I stare out at Tiger hitting his shot, and it dawns on me. I was about to hit on Tiger's wife. I was really, like two seconds away, from hitting on the biggest sports star in the ENTIRE WORLD wife.

While part of me was a bit sad that I wouldn't stand a chance with Elin, part of me was also proud. One of the few times in my life when I had the strong urge to make a move on a young lady, it happens to be the wife of the most famous athlete in the world. Hey, it's easier to dream big right?

Ryan Tedards

1 comment:

  1. As Gretzky would say, "you will never score if you don't shoot." Who knows, maybe she had a little something somthing on the side too.